FAREWELL - 28 December 2025
Good morning brothers and sisters. I’m so happy I get to speak to you all today. I have been called to serve in the New Zealand Wellington mission and I could not be more excited. All three of my brothers and my dad served missions in the states, so, not that it’s a competition, but I think I win.
For a little backstory, growing up I actually never wanted to serve a mission. I truly never thought I would be capable of doing it. It was up until about 8th grade when I decided to get my patriarchal blessing. I had the opportunity to receive my patriarchal blessing from my great grandpa and in preparation of receiving it he had told me to pray about things that I would maybe want to hear or receive some answers to. I purposefully did not pray about wanting to know the answer to a possible mission because I had already decided if it didn’t mention anything about one, then I would not be going. Sure enough, it says a whole lot about a mission. God really knows us so well and had it not mentioned something I truly believe I wouldn’t be standing in front of you all today. I don’t think it was a coincidence that I got my patriarchal blessing at that time in my life, because, as much as I didn’t want to go then, as I have grown, so has my desire to serve and I don’t think I have ever been more excited and sure about something in my life.
I got my call back in August and these last few months have honestly been some of the hardest months of my life. I don’t think people talk enough about the time between receiving your call and finally leaving and how hard the adversary can work on you to bring you down. I would constantly find myself driving to the temple multiple nights a week crying and pleading with the Lord in the parking lot. I felt so alone and like God wasn’t listening to me. I was truly so lost and felt like I had no purpose. I knew that I was going on a mission and I had something to look forward to but it was so hard to focus on something that felt so far away.
One night when I had yet again driven to the temple, I felt the need to text my dad and ask him to give me a blessing. Without question or hesitation he said yes and as soon as I came home he gave me a blessing. Something that my dad said that really stuck with me from the blessing was that My Heavenly Father knows me and is aware of me and my thoughts. I felt the spirit so strong and it felt like a burden was lifted off my chest. I truly knew that God was there and knew exactly what I had been going through.
Elder Kearon, in this most recent conference, spoke about Jesus Christ and New Beginnings. At one point he states, “His goodness and mercy and loving-kindness know no bounds. New beginnings are at the heart of the Father’s plan.”
No matter what struggles we are facing, whether it’s sins or mistakes, or even just negative thoughts or mindsets, Jesus Christ knows us personally and is ALWAYS there and we are offered infinite new beginnings because of his atonement.
Elder Kearon goes on to say something that really touches me. He says, “The adversary is the only one who benefits from the idea that you are sunk. You are not.”
The adversary in these last few months had worked hard to make me feel worthless and purposeless. My mindset was negative and as much as I prayed to get out of this rut I was in I was not changing my attitude or truly opening my heart to receive any answers or guidance. Elder Kearon also states, “New beginnings are for more than just our sins and mistakes. Through the goodness and grace of the Savior, we can have fresh starts that propel change in old habits, grumpy dispositions, negative attitudes, feelings of powerlessness, and tendencies to blame others and avoid personal responsibility.”
I knew in order for me to feel joy, I needed to turn to the Lord and put my full trust in Him. I needed to stop feeling bad for myself and wondering why God wasn’t helping me when I wasn’t doing my part. I had to let go of worrying about the things that I had no control over that were weighing me down and put my full focus on what was most important.
In a talk I love and often reference by President Russell M Nelson, he says, “The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.”
This quote has helped me so much as I had felt like the things I was struggling with were why I couldn’t feel joy, when in reality I needed to switch my focus to the Savior and not allow myself to dwell in the struggle.
Elder Kearon mentions that the Lord never tires of giving new beginnings to us and He hasn’t set a limit on your second chances. He states, “You press on. You keep striving. You seek help from those around you. And you trust in the new beginning that is there for you every time you turn back to your Father in sincerity of heart.”
I know that no matter what trials you face, because of the Atonement, we are offered countless new beginnings and fresh starts. I know that my mission will be another new beginning for me in my life and I will be able to learn and grow my testimony of the gospel as I share it with others. I’m sure at times I will struggle, but as I put my full trust and faith in Him I will receive many blessings and constant new beginnings.
A couple months ago, while I was at the temple, I was having doubts and struggling with feeling like I wasn’t enough and that I could be doing better. I picked up the scriptures and decided to flip to a random page. This usually never works for me but I ended up flipping to Alma chapter 38 and began to read. Almost immediately I couldn’t believe what I was reading. The entire chapter is amazing but I’ll just share with you a few verses as well as replace some of the names with my own.
It says, “And now my daughter, I trust that I shall have great joy in you, because of your steadiness and your faithfulness unto God; for as you have commenced in your youth to look to the Lord your God, even so I hope that you will continue in keeping his commandments; for blessed is he that endureth to the end.
“I say unto you, Bella, that I have had great joy in thee already, because of thy faithfulness and thy diligence, and thy patience and thy long-suffering among the people of the Zoramites.
“And now my daughter, Bella, I would that ye should remember, that as much as ye shall put your trust in God even so much ye shall be delivered out of your trials, and your troubles, and your afflictions, and ye shall be lifted up at the last day.”
These words were exactly what I needed to hear and whenever I am having doubts or worries I turn to this chapter. I know that the Lord already has great joy in all of us. All he wants from us is effort and for us to turn to him and that is enough. We all make mistakes and none of us are perfect but as long as we are diligent and repent and turn to the Savior, we can be delivered from our doubts and trials and have a fresh start and new beginning.
As many of you may know, recently the age for sister missionaries to leave changed to 18. I am gonna be so honest, I was a little frustrated by this change at first because I had to wait this long and struggled through some of the darkest times of my life when I could have already been out serving. Although, as I thought about it more, this time of struggle I think was truly a blessing in disguise. I have learned and grown so much just in these last few months and have truly seen the hand of God in my life.
In John 13 verse 7 it states, “Jesus answered and said unto him, What I do knowest not now; but thou shalt know hereafter.”
There are so many things that happen that we may not understand or know the answer to, but as long as we put our trust in him, we will come to know of the blessings and tender mercies behind things we may find frustrating or hard. I know that God's timing is perfect and that I am called at the time I am needed. I am confident that He is preparing friends in New Zealand for me to teach and opening their hearts to be ready to receive the gospel.
Another talk that I came across a little while back was from the October 2017 General Conference by Elder Stanley G. Ellis called “Do we trust him? Hard is Good.” In this talk Elder Ellis says, “Hard is part of the gospel plan.”
He shares an example of how it is hard when a chick hatches from a tough eggshell, but when someone tries to make it easier, the chick does not develop the strength necessary to live. He goes on to say that “hard is the constant.”
Brothers and Sisters, nothing in life was meant to be easy. If things were easy, we ultimately would not grow. As hard as life and trials are, I am so grateful for the growth and blessings that come through them. I know that the Lord won’t take away our problems but as we turn to him with a sincere heart he will make our burdens lighter. These last few months were no doubt very hard for me, but through it I have grown so much and I am so grateful.
I last just want to share this poem that I heard recently called “Holes,” by Scott Lewis.
I had been in that hole for a very long time
In the dark and the damp, in the cold and the slime.
The shaft was above me; I could see it quite clear
But there’s no way I ever could reach it from here.
Nor could I remember the world way up there
So I lost all my hope and gave in to despair.
I knew nothing but darkness, the floor, and the walls
Then off in a distance I heard someone call:
“Get up! Get ready! There’s nothing the matter.
Take rocks and old sticks and build up a fine ladder.”
This had never occurred to me-- had not crossed my mind.
But I started to stack all the stones I could find.
When I ran out of stones, then old sticks were my goal,
For one way or another I’d get out of that hole.
So I soon had a ladder that was sturdy and tall
And I thought, “I’ll soon leave this place once and for all.”
I climbed up my ladder. It was no easy chore,
For from lifting those boulders, my shoulders were sore.
I climbed on up the ladder, but soon had to stop
For my ladder stopped short-- some ten feet from the top.
I climbed back down my ladder and started to cry
I’d done all I could do. I gave my best try.
And in spite of my work, in this hole I must die.
And all I could do was to sit and think, “Why?”
Was my ladder too short? Or my hole much too deep
Then from way upon high came a voice, “Do not weep.”
And then faith, hope, and love entered into my chest
As the voice said to me that I’d done my best.
He said, “You’ve worked very hard, and your labor’s been rough,
But the ladder you’ve built is at last tall enough.
Do not despair. You have reason to hope.
Just climb up your ladder; I’ll throw down my rope.”
I climbed up the ladder, then climbed up the cord.
When I got to the top, there stood the Lord.
I couldn’t be happier; my struggle was done.
I blinked in the brightness that came from the Son.
I fell to the ground, His feet did I kiss
I cried, “What can I do to repay thee for this?”
Then He looked all about Him. There were holes in the ground
They had people inside, and were seen all around
There were thousands of holes that were damp, dark, and deep
Then the Lord turned to me and He said, “Feed my sheep.”
Then He went on His way to help other lost souls,
And I got right to work, calling down to the holes:
“Get up! Get Ready! There’s nothing the matter.
Take rocks and old sticks and build up a fine ladder.”
It was now my turn to spread the good word.
The most glorious message that man ever heard.
That there’s one who is willing to save one and all
And we’ve got to be ready when He gives the call.
He’ll pull us all out of the hole that we’re in
And save all our souls from death and from sin.
So do not lose faith; there is reason to hope
Just build up your ladder; He’ll throw down His rope.
I’m so grateful for our father in Heaven and his son Jesus Christ. I am so grateful for the atonement and for the ability for us to all have infinite new beginnings. I have a testimony that Heavenly Father is always there for us and will pull us out of our trials as long as we turn to him and put in our effort. I know that God loves each and every one of us unconditionally no matter what and we are never out of chances to come back and be better.
I just want to close and say how grateful I am for each and every one of you. I’m so grateful to have the best family and support. I’m so grateful for my 3 older brothers who all served missions and have been the best examples to me. I don’t think I would be here today if it weren’t for your testimonies and love for your missions.
Megan, your tenderness and love for the Savior is so inspiring to me and as much as we fight I am so lucky to have you in my life.
Mom, I love you so much you are my true best friend. You’re the most christlike person I know and I strive to be like you everyday.
Dad, I am so blessed to be able to come to you with anything and have your constant support. Your words and guidance mean so much to me.
I lastly am just so grateful for all my best friends, ward friends, leaders, teachers, and bishop. You all have made such an impact on my life and have shaped me into the person I am. I love you all and I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for any of you.
I love Heavenly Father and the Savior so so much and I can’t wait to share this perfect gospel to the amazing people in New Zealand.
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
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